myhollydays

A glimpse into the world of the handicapable.

Archive for the tag “God”

…I Was Bitten By A Radioactive Disabled Person…

Questions I had been asked these past few weeks…

“What did you do to prepare for pregnancy?”

Since my husband I decided we would like to start a family, I began researching…a lot!  There wasn’t a lot out there and I didn’t know what to expect.  I contacted other women with Spina Bifida that had children, and asked them what they did.  I also boosted my Folic Acid intake and watched my diet.  I relied on the support of my siblings and close friends (and of course my hubby) to keep me positive.  As you can tell from older posts, the pregnancy went well.  Caiden is healthy and happy.  I am healthy and happy.  I would probably recommend to anyone (regardless if you have a disability) to stay in contact with your doctor, and keep an open line of communication with your health providers.  No one will have the same outcome or the same situation.
“Weren’t you worried that Caiden would end up with SB?”

Yes.  I was worried.  However, God is in control and wouldn’t give us anything we couldn’t handle.  I know this sounds SO cliche…but it’s true.  I think I also recalled something a friend had said to me in college…”What’s the worst that can happen?  Can you live with that?”.  The worst case scenerio would have been Caiden born with Spina Bifida.  It would mean medical issues, complications, possible learning problems, possible social problems, etc.  Wait…that was my childhood…my mother’s worries for me.  Well, I think I turned out fine.  I think I would have the first hand experience to help raise a child with SB.  We would have loved whoever God gave us.

“How did you get SB?”

see title to this blog…

“What difficulties do you face now that you have Caiden?”

I think worrying about him constantly.  He is mobile AND determined…a VERY bad combination for me!  =)  I love this kid dearly…but I can’t take my eyes off of him for second or he’s into something.  As far as the wheelchair and my disability…I’m not sure.  I think adjusting to the crib height.  I also have issues with saliva…need I say more.

“Would you adopt?”

I would like to.  Maybe not in the near future…and certainly not 18,  but we like the idea of a little girl in our family.

Have a question?  Morbidly curious about something?  Send those questions my way!

…And It Begins…

Caiden is sleeping in his own room.  He is in his own bed.  My hand was forced!

It started out like this…

I put Caiden in his little bassinet three days ago.  I turned around to clean off the coffee table and I look back and not only has Caiden sat up, but he started pulling up on his legs.  He was leaning over the side of the bassinet onto the couch arm rest (luckily, that’s the side he chose for this death defying trick!).  I quickly rolled to him and put him on my lap.  Sadly…an end of a stage.

My heart broke a little bit.  My baby, this precious little boy that was in my tummy, is mobile.  When Chris came home, I had him lower the crib and the pack and play.  We are now in the process of baby proofing the house…this will be our next adventure.

The crib is a bit deep for me to get Caiden out of, however, I can get him out by myself.  He usually sits up for me and then I stand him up and lift him onto my lap.  It’s awkward, I admit, but effective.  I’ll need to get used to the height, and the feel of the crib.  Another factor to consider…his weight.  Luckily, I am adapting well to his continually changing body and mass.

With each new skill he’s picking up, I can’t help but fall even more in love with this baby.  Who knew…?  Me…married…and a mother!

Oh what a night!

I’ve been so busy reading everyone else’s blog, I forgot to write in mine. I guess I’ll give it a shot today.

I had one of the most interesting experience last weekend. Chris had promised that we could take a trip to Barnes and Noble last Saturday. We packed up the baby and set out to the long trip (a whole ten minutes) to BN.

We arrived and got the baby out, then realized in horror that the baby was sitting in a pool of poo. His little legs were kicking in it and all the while my baby boy was as happy as could be. He isn’t disturbed by much…and clearly dirty diapers/poo pools are included on this list. His little hands went from the little puddle of poo… straight to his…gulp…mouth! I’m gagging. Chris is disturbed. Caiden.. squealing with delight. We contemplated going back home, but I didn’t want to risk him ingesting this mess…so into BN we went. Poo and all.
I split up the job…Chris would take Caiden and I would take the baby seat. Both equally and disgustingly poo filled.  I had never been so frustrated in my life. The seat was bulky, stinky and hard to maneuver. The restroom doors were awkward and heavy. I was clearly struggling and people would see me and turn around without offering assistance, encouragement or the like. Sigh. Anyways, I made it to the sink and set up camp. Luckily, I carry baby shampoo in the diaper bag…HOWEVER I forgot to put the wipes in the bag. The counter was covered in poo, I was covered in poo. And I don’t want to get started on what remnants of Caiden had been exposed to this poor bathroom… and as ladies (this is Highland Village, mind you…) were leaving the stalls, I couldn’t help but notice..I was being judged. A lot! Who could blame the innocent bystanders that skipped the hand washes in fear of contamination. I wouldn’t want to wash my hands while the little girl in the wheelchair with a baby seat (and no sign of a baby) washed out poo and sloshed brown water every where. By the way…I ran out of paper towels in mid washing…and resorted to a onsie…what a sight!

When I finally completed my task to the best of my ability (I did ask God for his forgiveness for the choice language and glares I inadvertently let slip), I met up with my husband,  collected my half naked baby and fully clothed husband (in case that wasn’t clear) and allowed the seat to air dry in the car.

I realized that Caiden was still a bit dirty (I hadn’t packed wipes, so I can only imagine what Chris did to get this poor baby clean) and went back into the bathroom and (much to the dismay of the BN staff) I set up yet another camp and “bathed”poor Caiden. After ten minutes of repurposing burp rags into bath clothes, using old blankets as towels and dressing Caiden in an outfit I had luckily packed…we were ready for some book shopping!

My husband was covered in dried baby poo…for the rest of the outing (which included book browsing, cookies and a short stroll) and never once complained.

No matter how stressful the situation became…and it was STRESSFUL… We worked together and got what needed to be done…done. :). We ended the night reminiscing about our adventure after showers and and a baby bath. At least we could laugh about it…now!

I married the perfect man for me. God gave me the perfect son for me. I am truly blessed.

My family!

What was I so worried about?

Caiden is a little over 5 months now.  He is so happy, just smiles all the time.  He is also just a laid back kid, nothing seems to faze him too much.  He is a social little bug!

Since the summer began (2 weeks ago!), I get to stay home with Caiden and just hang out with him.  I LOVE being at home with him.  I get to see him try to crawl, give me the MOST DRAMATIC frowns, and give me the happiest squeals and giggles.  I am also VERY protective of him.

I think the reasoning is that, well, first off, I’m a mommy.  Secondly, I feared (okay, I admit, I still fear) what others would say or think of him having a mommy in a wheelchair.  I get the vibe at times that some people are not too pleased that I made a conscious choice to get pregnant.  I could have “spread” my disability to him, or made his life harder than it needs to be.  WELL…to be honest…who’s life is NOT hard?  Seriously…!

However, the thought still stays in my head.  I keep thinking…well, I grew up like this (you know…not walking) and I’m used to the stares, the nervous smiles and the “OH @#*&$ how am I supposed to handle this situation” looks.  Chris (the hubby) married me knowing he would have to deal with the above types of people.  He is used to it.   I am quite in awe of how brave and self-confident he is about the whole situation.  It never bothered him, even when others were worried for him.

BUT…I brought a baby into the equation.  Caiden wasn’t really born into it (not really), and he didn’t choose this lifestyle or his mommy.  So, I fretted (as any normal mommy would do) about how others would treat him, what other people would say to him, or how others would treat me when he’s around.  I know I can do anything I set my mind to.  If you give me a challenge, or just tell me I can’t…well, I will do anything in my power to prove you wrong…and then some.  Still, you have people out there who do not know me well, and will still try to limit me.  Not really on purpose, but trying to be the good Samaritan, or trying to “help”.  It’s condescending.  Plain and simple.  I do not need to be taken care of and I usually don’t need assistance…unless I specifically ask.  =)  I don’t want Caiden exposed to that type of mindset.

Yesterday, for the first time ever…Caiden and I went out to a place that wasn’t with my husband or family members.  I took Caiden to the store.  Just me and Caiden.  I was so nervous and scared.  I wasn’t nervous because of the transferring in and out of the car, or being able to carry him around, that’s EASY PEASY!  It was how I thought people were going to react.  I thought people might stare at me or at Caiden and judge us. I thought people would be rude, or disrespectful.

I got out of my car, put Caiden in his front carrier and we rolled in to the store.  This is the store that Chris, Caiden and I usually go to every week.  It was so intimidating at first.  But everyone cooed and smiled and played with Caiden and greeted me in such a respectful manner.  The employees were so nice and friendly.  The customers were hilarious.  Chris was right…they weren’t judging, they weren’t disgusted.  They wanted to help.  They wanted to see what they could do to make things easier.  Why was I so worried?  I forgot, most of this world is actually…good.  =)

God knew what he was doing when he gave me Caiden.  We are a perfect match.

So, that’s one fear confronted….so many more to go.  But you know what?  I’ve got time.  =0)

Adaptability

Today was a good day. School is almost at an end, and summer vacation is fast approaching. It also means that Caiden is getting older…and more mobile.
Yesterday, I sat him in his pack and play and watched as he rolled from back to tummy and back again. He sits on my lap and we ride. He also nurses with his feet on my wheels. It’s amazing how adaptable babies are. Caiden somehow knows what I can and can’t do, and seems perfectly fine adapting to me.
I can’t wait to see what he will be like when he’s a little older (although parts of me want him to stay a baby!).
Ok…time for bed!

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