myhollydays

A glimpse into the world of the handicapable.

Archive for the tag “Worry”

…I Was Bitten By A Radioactive Disabled Person…

Questions I had been asked these past few weeks…

“What did you do to prepare for pregnancy?”

Since my husband I decided we would like to start a family, I began researching…a lot!  There wasn’t a lot out there and I didn’t know what to expect.  I contacted other women with Spina Bifida that had children, and asked them what they did.  I also boosted my Folic Acid intake and watched my diet.  I relied on the support of my siblings and close friends (and of course my hubby) to keep me positive.  As you can tell from older posts, the pregnancy went well.  Caiden is healthy and happy.  I am healthy and happy.  I would probably recommend to anyone (regardless if you have a disability) to stay in contact with your doctor, and keep an open line of communication with your health providers.  No one will have the same outcome or the same situation.
“Weren’t you worried that Caiden would end up with SB?”

Yes.  I was worried.  However, God is in control and wouldn’t give us anything we couldn’t handle.  I know this sounds SO cliche…but it’s true.  I think I also recalled something a friend had said to me in college…”What’s the worst that can happen?  Can you live with that?”.  The worst case scenerio would have been Caiden born with Spina Bifida.  It would mean medical issues, complications, possible learning problems, possible social problems, etc.  Wait…that was my childhood…my mother’s worries for me.  Well, I think I turned out fine.  I think I would have the first hand experience to help raise a child with SB.  We would have loved whoever God gave us.

“How did you get SB?”

see title to this blog…

“What difficulties do you face now that you have Caiden?”

I think worrying about him constantly.  He is mobile AND determined…a VERY bad combination for me!  =)  I love this kid dearly…but I can’t take my eyes off of him for second or he’s into something.  As far as the wheelchair and my disability…I’m not sure.  I think adjusting to the crib height.  I also have issues with saliva…need I say more.

“Would you adopt?”

I would like to.  Maybe not in the near future…and certainly not 18,  but we like the idea of a little girl in our family.

Have a question?  Morbidly curious about something?  Send those questions my way!

Mini-sode Episode 1: Going for a Roll

My Holly Days Mini-sode Episode 01 from Holly Cates on Vimeo.

Adaptability

Today was a good day. School is almost at an end, and summer vacation is fast approaching. It also means that Caiden is getting older…and more mobile.
Yesterday, I sat him in his pack and play and watched as he rolled from back to tummy and back again. He sits on my lap and we ride. He also nurses with his feet on my wheels. It’s amazing how adaptable babies are. Caiden somehow knows what I can and can’t do, and seems perfectly fine adapting to me.
I can’t wait to see what he will be like when he’s a little older (although parts of me want him to stay a baby!).
Ok…time for bed!

I’m back!

Caiden on our first family vacation!

It’s still hard to believe…my baby boy is almost 5 months old. He gabs, rolls, laughs and grabs. He is a bouncy baby boy, and he is ACTIVE! He loves to jump (with help from his mommy and daddy) and dance, sing and play. It’s amazing how much this little Zoomie has grown.

I think what amazes me so much is the fact that he was in my body 5 months ago! Now that he’s older, he is able to bear weight on his legs and stand on my lap and he TOWERS over me. He is tall!

Everyone asks “What’s been the hardest part of being a mommy and being in a wheelchair at the same time?”. Well, to be honest…being a mommy has been easy. Being a mommy in a wheelchair…well, that part is easy too. After all, it’s basically the same thing…only, I’m faster down a hill.

I think I had a few concerns before Caiden was born. However, I figured it out with time and thanks to my wonderful, supportive and amazing husband. Here are a few things that I had on my mind before his birth:
1. How on earth do I carry him?
Easy peasy! When he was a bit younger (AND A LOT SMALLER), I could fit him in the crook of my arm and then push my chair by gliding along a wall or whatever free standing furniture was close by. I still do that, but not as much since Caiden is able to sit in my lap. I also use a carrying pouch. As long as Caiden is facing out, he is happy. He is definitely a great rider!
2. How do I travel with Caiden?
Again…easier than I thought. I carry him to my car with my pouch. I am fairly (and unnaturally) strong, and so putting him in the car seat was very easy. Then I load myself in the car…and voila! Off we go!
3. How would others view me? Meaning…how would other people (strangers and acquaintances) react to me with a baby on my lap?)
I’ve taken Caiden to the store, mall, park, etc. many times now. I usually get positive (or puzzled) reactions, but never anything negative (knock on wood). I can let my imagination go wild some times and it never bodes well for anyone. =)

Actually, when I post on Facebook (granted everyone on my FB account is someone I know personally), I get pretty positive responses. I am usually greeted with supportive comments and friendly well-wishers. I had noticed that a group that I belonged to hadn’t had much to say to me during and after the pregnancy. I know that there are people out there that did not want me to get pregnant in fear that I would give my SB to my son. I don’t think people realize how hard the decision was for me to become pregnant. I did worry about my health…about my mobility…about my job. I worried about finances…I worried about money…about my ability to be a mom…about…well, everything…I’m human. I worried so much about what my in-laws would think or say or react to my ability to handle pregnancy and being a mom. I worried about my family…how would they react, say or think.

But now that I have him, none of that matters. Of course…my worrying didn’t help, hinder or solve a thing. In fact…it was a waste of energy!

My sisters, bless EACH of them, would listen patiently to my worries. It was endless hours of me worrying and countering each with a sweet and loving reassurance.

But now…he’s here. He’s in my arms and made his way to my heart. I couldn’t imagine life without this little boy. I couldn’t imagine life with out my strong and loving husband. There is a reason why marriages either get stronger or break when a baby is introduced into the family. There are so many things that we have to communicate to each other. There are so many compromises and teamwork. I feel like I’ve met a whole new part of Chris. I love watching the two together, it makes me feel so complete.

My boys!

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